Saturday, December 16, 2006
Last week was a very very stressful and hard week for me..had my 2nd week of attachments and that was where i was woken up tt..hey..alot of things need to buck up!!!!
Monday I went back or attachments and i was blur..dey said that we start taking case...tues, i was asked by my CI about my case study, den I was able to say all till when it came to the medications part..i cant say anithin about my pt medications..but those Lactulose, Senna, Asprin, Ogmentin, Paracetamol..all these simple ones..when she asked me wat is Thaimine for? I couldn't answer..den i came to know tt its Vitamin..
Than she took another case and start testing me the med again...sigh..i panic..den i admitted to her tt my medications are terrible..den she got a shock..cuz she said it's patients safety..den i told her tt i will check out the medication b4 serving..den she say, as a yr3..we should know...
Than how great, another CI frm another ward came and saw my CI talking to me, den she asked wat happen den the other CI said to me,
"if u are able to write out 50 med. with the indicatoins and dosage, I can say you are a good nurse, if you know less than 50, den im sorry, you are not a good nurse.."
Well..i had nothing to say..
Den aft tt i went or break and my CI told me, tml she will test me again, as i have potential to fail..i felt....i duno how to say..i had never fail my attachment since yr 1..now during yr 3 fail...
The next day, me and all my frenz had medications test, we were suppose to wirte down 15 drugs name, trade name, indications and dosage...
i studied very hard for it..i nearly breakdown..
We also had care of chest tube and care of trachea test...
My stress level did not come down..it just went up and up..on Thursday, when i did apprasial with my CI, she said that she could not give me my appraisal today..den she say she dun see anithing to prove her to pass me...
Den i went home, i took a cab home..
I was reallie depress..i could not smile at all..it was my very very first time that i felt this stress and this upset...
I had no mood for anithing..
no appeitite..
when eating, the food has no taste..(it's not exagerating)
On fri..i got my apprasial..she said she just pass me..as she saw improvments..I reallie thank God...
She said she inform one of my lecturer tt i need guidiance..den my CI said, rather have stress now den when I graduate and be a staf nurse..ppl wun see if im a junior nurse anot, as long as we are in the staff nurse uniform, we have to know many things..so she say have stress now, if not next yr I will have a mental breakdown...
Sigh..these few days, it reallie hit me that Nursing is reallie not an easy course...I do not understand if the society thinks that Nursing is onli somewhere poor grade students can go..den I think its wrong..as wat Nurses are dealing with are LIVES...
A wrong medication..wrong procedure..simple things..it can cost a patients life..
Medications have to know well..have to document well..to protect ourselves from being sued by patients..have to know how to many different diagnosis...
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Christmas thing is this coming sat..reallie praying for the number of ppl and everything in detail...
I hope there will be no more misunderstandings or any unhappiness between any of us as we should be working as 1 for this event...
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Hope the combined practise today will go on very smoothly...
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10.25am
Saturday
16/12/06
